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It's Not You, It's Him: The Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating (Broadway Books, $19.95) by Dr. Georgia Witkin, Try out these upbeat new "rules" to finding lasting love! The secret to dating without all the pain is to assume you're perfectly loveable exactly as you are. When a good date goes bad, the problem is never you. It's him! Suddenly dating is so simple. You will never again ask “why didn’t he call?” It doesn’t matter. You will never ask, “How should I change?” You don’t have to. Instead you will do what you want, go where you want, wear what you want, and it will only make you more perfect. You will take everything dates say and do as information about them—not you. Also, Dr. Witkin has super advice to know when ‘he's the one’, and when to absolutely run—screaming!
The book is really about self-respect and self esteem. Why read it? Because we think about and talk about relationships much more than single men do ladies!. And when things go wrong, we’re also much more likely to blame ourselves! This is a very helpful book for reminding us all how truly wonderful we women are and how much we deserve to be loved by a man who values and respects us. Well, maybe, just maybe you are not the problem. Maybe, just maybe, you’d still be single even if you were perfect. Maybe the men you’re meeting have the problems. After all: It’s Not You, It’s Him!
My favorite lessons from the book are:
*Don't ask why? Ask what. What do you want from a man who loves you? And what did you get instead? That is all you need to know.
*Stop faking it-- do what you want, wear what you want, go where you want
*Don't apologize: women apologize for not anticipating problems, not avoiding problems, for who we are, for what we do, and for being single. All this apologizing affects the way you feel about yourself.
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