Inspiring Relationships
The world we live in today seems to make maintaining relationships that last ever more challenging. The tabloids thrive on pushing in our faces the latest power-couple to bite the relationship dust, society hangs on the blow-by-blow romantic woes of Bennifer or TomKat. Because we place our celebrities on a pedestal, it’s no wonder people start thinking, “If Nick and Jessica can’t hold it together, how can I?”.
The truth is it doesn’t matter how much money or fame, how many TV shows or big movie deals any of these folks have, love is the great equalizer. You can’t control love with a gigantic house or a jet-set lifestyle. Inside we all want love, acceptance and companionship, and that is true whether you work for Tinseltown or Target.
Like with so many things in life, people and relationships don’t come with an Owner’s Manual. Our parents didn’t get one when we were born, and neither do our partners. And so we do the dance and sometimes it is synchronistic like Fred and Ginger, sometimes we step on toes, and sometimes we end up twirling one way while our partner spins another.
This fall, we will be celebrating the tenth year of our relationship, five of those as husband and wife. We are still growing together and finding new depths of love to explore. While we don’t pretend to have it all figured out, friends, family and acquaintances seem to notice that we have a unique approach to living and loving in a world that seems to do all it can to drive people apart.
 Here are some thoughts that inspire us to aspire to great relationships:
- Love yourself first.
- Have fun, laugh, make each other smile.
- Keep romance alive. Even an unexpected note tucked in someone’s bag or a single stemmed flower can stoke some sparks.
- Deal with it! Don’t let your relationship get cluttered with issues. Dealing with stuff as soon as it comes up keeps your slate clean.
- Don’t keep score. You’ll never move forward if you keep bringing up the past.
- Let go of stereotypes. “Men always….” or “All women think…” are sure ways to limit your partner from surprising you and charging them as guilty before the trial.
- Talking always helps. It seems too easy. But as soon as you start saying how you feel out loud, you not only help your partner understand you better, but usually discover some things about yourself while you’re at it.
- Put the shoe on the other foot. Try your very best to put yourself in your partner’s place and see things from their angle.
- Be willing to change. You may think you remain the same, but your very cells are changing minute-to-minute, constantly evolving. Most people are afraid of change; keeping things the same is so much more comfortable. Instead of resisting it, let your relationship grow; rediscover who you and your partner are in each new day.
- Commit to having it work. Attitude is everything. If you demand that things be great, you’ll be willing to do what it takes to have it that way.
Keep these points in mind, and let us know how they’ve inspired you. We’ll share your feedback next issue.
Send your dating and relationship questions and quandries to divas@venusimaging.com |
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about josh max and julie james
After meeting through a personal ad, Josh Max and Julie James shared a coffee date in 1996 and have been together since. Married in October 2001, they bring their unique and fun perspective on relationships to the readers of AmaZe.
Josh Max is a freelance writer whose auto and motorcycle reviews, travel articles, feature columns and first-person pieces can be seen in Newsweek, The New York Times, NY Daily News, Rides, Elite Traveler, Forbes.com and other publications. Josh is also a musician/songwriter/performer in The Maxes, a Manhattan-based groovy, poppy, happy, peppy, bluesy outfit, sharing vocal stylings with wife Julie. www.TheMaxes.com. For information on Julie James, please read the Destinations column.
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