Meet Dream Big Winner Stephanie!

Statistics show 1 in 10 women has been the victim of domestic abuse by the time they are 35 years old. Domestic abuse is a power dynamic that includes physical, verbal, mental, emotional and sexual abuse. It knows no age or ethnic boundaries.

I spoke with a Domestic Violence counselor who said that it’s 56% more likely for a plus-size woman to stay in an abusive relationship due to lack of self esteem. It’s very easy for the “abuser” to use “the weight” as a way to break down the victims self esteem.

Stephanie, our next Dream Big contest winner has experienced domestic violence. Her story is one of courage and determination.

This Queens, NY native is the youngest of six children. As this “chubby” young lady grew older she watched her mother raise the family alone once her parents separated. By the time she was 21, Stephanie had grown to accept herself and was living a normal life until she became involved with the man who would test her will to love herself.

[Maddy] Tell me about how you met “him” and when you knew that you were involved in an abusive relationship?

[Stephanie] When I was 21 years old, my friend introduced me to one of her friends who she said was charming. After a month we became a couple, and I really had no complaints. One day we came back from a wedding, and I was tired. He wanted us to go to the movies but I explained to him that I did not want to go. He became so angry and yelled at me like I was a child. “Get down the stairs and get in the car!” I did not understand what was getting him so upset but looking back that’s when it started.

[Maddy] How did the abuse progress?

He would tell me how stupid I was and how he was not going outside with me because I looked ridiculous. I was “verbally” beat down so much that I started to believe I could not do anything right. 

[Maddy] How did the abuse escalate and when did you decide to end this downward spiral?

[Stephanie] One day I told him I did not like how I felt with him. I was standing over him while I was talking when he kicked me. To him it was “just” a kick and did not constitute violence. The next time he became angry with me it was a slap and before long he was choking me until I would almost lose consciousness.

I remember the last time he put his hands on me; something inside of me “woke-up” and I jumped on his back, and let's just say he never bothered me again after that.

Stephanie modeling a dress from www.alight.com

Stephanie and her loving husband Chris

The breaking point for me was realizing I did not like myself with that person. I felt down all the time. The day, I fought back I was just so tired of being treated so badly. I came to the realization that I would rather be by myself than deal with a man that had no respect for me, and treated me like I had no self worth. We broke up that day and although he did call me to apologize and work things out, I could not and would not do it.

[Maddy] Tell me about your success in overcoming this experience

[Stephanie] I was mentally and emotionally scared for many years after I left him. I continually thought something was wrong with me. I spiraled into a deep depression that lasted years until I decided to seek professional help.

I am 31 years young, and I am optimistic about life. I refuse to live in darkness or let anyone put me in a box of confinement. I am currently pursuing my Information Technology degree and working on a book entitled, Fullest Potential.

Stephanie is happily to married Chris (see photo above) and is a mother of two young children.

Credits:

Photographer: Luke Jones www.lucaspictures.net
Makeup artist – Olga www.olgafaces.com
www.makingitbig.net – Maroon top
www.alight.com – Black dress