Erik made an exasperated noise. “And it was more than just sex. I was angry that he was teaching her to fish! That was something I had always wanted to do when we were young and camping together with our families. And she was telling me how he was taking care of her…that was my job.”
George was silent for a moment. “Wow, Erik. And you didn’t tell her any of this?”
“She was seeing someone else. Or at least, she told me she was seeing someone else.”
“She was lying?”
“Yeah. She said she thought it was best.” He got to his feet and stalked along the length of the kitchen. “I was mad at her, George. I was so angry that she had betrayed me by seeing someone else…by letting him into her life instead of me.”
“But she didn’t know how you felt, right?”
“Whose side are you on, dammit?”
“Hey, don’t get mad at me!” George laughed. “I’m just trying to understand what happened.”
“She said she didn’t know that I wanted to be with her.” he huffed and dropped back into his chair. “I stopped talking to her. I deleted her voice mail messages,” after listening to them five or six times, he thought to himself. “and I didn’t return any of her calls. She got mad and called me last night after midnight.”
“You were home?”
“Yeah.”
“Were you awake?”
“No.” Erik’s voice was getting softer with each answer.
“Oh jeez, Erik, were you with someone?”
“Yeah.”
George barely heard him. “And she knows?”
“Yeah. It was a mistake.” Erik tried to defend himself. “Robyn had gone out of town on a long weekend with this other guy…I was sure they had slept together. And I was lonely and desperate for someone to make things okay for me again.”
“Did you know her?”
He rolled his eyes at George. “Of course. It was Tiff.”
“Your ex?”
“Yeah.”
“So she was thrilled when you left her in bed alone to talk with Robyn in the middle of the night…assumingly after you’d had sex with her.” George muttered.
“She slashed a tire on her way out.” Erik told him.
“You’re lucky that’s all she cut.”
“Very funny.”
“So you went to see Robyn today. After she told you the truth about the baby and the new boyfriend…what happened?”
“I left.”
“Just like that? You just stared at her in silence and then walked out?”
“Not exactly.”
George groaned and covered his eyes with his hands. “What did you say?”
“I told her that I felt betrayed by all the lies she fed me. I told her that I felt like I’d let her down by not being there for her…and that I wasn’t sure I could deal with either of those things.”
|
“What did she say?” George asked quietly.
“She said she always loved me.”
“And did you always love her?”
“Of course! She was my best friend.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“No.”
“You’ve never really told her the truth. You let her spill her guts out to you about everything…and said nothing in return. You didn’t open yourself to her at all.” George told him. “I think that’s probably your biggest betrayal to both of you. Before you do or decide anything else, you need to be honest with her about what you were thinking all these months.”
“What good will that do?”
“You owe it to both of you to share your feelings. After that, you can decide if and how you can move forward.” George finished.
Erik shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“Erik,” George paused. “do you love her?”
“Of course I love her. Am I in love with her?” Erik stared at the tabletop for a moment, then laughed softly. “Yeah, I am.”
“Can you go on loving her and living without her?”
“I’ve done it the past few months.” Erik said defensively.
“And how happy have you been? How happy will you be if you let her slip away into another man’s arms for real? How happy will you be if she decided to love someone else? Permanently.”
“Dammit, George, you’re not helping.”
“Maybe I am and you just don’t want to hear it.”
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