Charm school for everyone! A terrific new book on how to become influential, successful, and extremely well-liked.

Celebrities flaunt it. Political contenders covet it. Some people seem to be born with it.  But it’s not some mystical ingredient found in our genes. “Charm,” attests Brian Tracy, one of the world’s premier experts on professional and personal success, “is the result of using specific skills that most of us know little or nothing about.  This means charm can be learned.  And nearly everyone who deals with people can benefit from charm.”

In THE POWER OF CHARM: How to Win Anyone Over in Any Situation (AMACOM Books; 2006), Authors Brian Tracy and Ron Arden reveal the simple truths about magnetic attraction and charismatic influence.  They share proven techniques anyone can practice to become an exceptionally charming person.  In addition to being better liked by others (including the opposite sex!), prevailing in work situations, the potential payoffs include dramatic improvements in everyday interactions, starting right at home with family.

THE POWER OF CHARM presents tools that work  wonders to strengthen others’ self-esteem and win their trust, support, respect, loyalty, and affection.  This engaging book also shed light on the differences between charming a man and charming a woman; pointers on persuading; and present winning ideas and tested strategies for coming across as charming over the telephone. 

The authors urge readers of all ages, circumstances, and confidence levels to think about charm as a personality quality and skill they can develop by thinking and acting like a charming person.  Their lessons continually reinforce the psychological key to charm: make others feel important. 
            
Brain and Ron Share Five Tools that Work Like a Charm for Charming Others   

• Greet friends as if you are thrilled to see them.  Imagine yourself walking down the street and seeing a dear friend from your younger days -- someone with whom you once shared many memorable experiences, but with whom you have been out of touch for years.  How would you feel?  The next time you see a friend you see all the time, create this same feeling of excitement, delight, and gratitude.  Then communicate it in your greeting.  You’ll be sure to charm whoever it is.                      

• Listen.  In your next conversation, make an effort to practice effective listening techniques, one at a time.  Resist the urge to interrupt, pause before replying, question for clarification, and paraphrase to reinforce your attentiveness and understanding.  You’ll discover you can communicate more deeply with just about any person in a few minutes.  And that person will find you charming.         

• Look.  Develop the habit of using direct eye contact when you are listening.  Start by practicing at home with your family.  As a loved one is speaking, make sure that your eyes are looking into his eyes, not the bridge of his nose, his forehead, or beyond his left ear.  But don’t let your eyes glaze over into a vacant stare.  If you want a person to see that you are listening, your eyes must move.  Practice the technique of “flicking” your eyes back and forth between his every now and then.  To see the flick in action, tune into any soap opera, turn down the volume, and watch the eye movement in a love scene.                                                      

• Nod.  When you listen without moving, most speakers find it disconcerting.  Nodding signals to other people that you are warm, friendly, and supportive.  This simple head movement is a key element of charm, especially when it’s combined with eye contact, head tilts, and other subtle, positive physical cues.    

• Be a Slow Talker.  Without realizing it, you may be a fast talker, someone who doesn’t let others get a thought in edgewise.  Fast talk makes speakers sound more self-centered and less interested in others, which negatively affects how charming, as well as how sincere, they appear.  To slow your speaking tempo, start by reading aloud into a tape recorder.  Speak at a rate that sounds uncomfortably slow to you.  Play back the recording.  You may be surprised to discover that what you thought was a slow speed sounds just right.  If so, practice the same technique during a conversation with a friend and ask for feedback.                                                                          

Adapted from THE POWER OF CHARM: How to Win Anyone Over in Any Situation by Brian Tracy and Ron Arden (AMACOM Books;  2006) BRIAN TRACY is one of the world’s most successful speakers and consultants on personal and professional development.  His many best-selling books include Focal Point (AMACOM) and Eat That Frog!  He lives in Solana Beach, California.  RON ARDEN, a former actor and director, is an award-winning coach of professional speakers.  He lives in San Diego, California.